AFL Gillon McLachlan has told the media of the AFL’s complicated process when awarding draft compensation for sides who lose a player in free agency.
The AFL today faced a backlash, and some confused experts when it awarded the Geelong Football Club pick 19 in this years draft as compensation for Steven Motlop. Motlop chose to join Port Adelaide this week, with the Cats declining to match their offer. The news confused fans and media alike.
In response, AFL head honcho, Gillon McLachlan spoke to the media discussing the protocol the AFL take when a player moves to a new club through free agency.
“The modus operandi is quite complex,” McLachlan said. “We have an expert panel of judges and mathematicians who are working day and night through the season to prepare for the free-agent season”. When reminded that he didn’t answer the question, McLachlan continued to discuss. “Our lead expert has been poached from German football. He is the one who makes most of the choices and leads our team through their deliberations. In fact, he may be a familiar face to some sports fans: Paul the Octopus“.
McLachlan was quick to heap praise on the Molluscan co-worker, explaining the Octopus’ pedigree. “Paul shone throughout the 2008n European Championship and the 2010 World Cup. His method’s of deciphering through complex data and coming to the correct conclusion is second to none. Throughout the Euros and the World Cup, he correctly predicted twelve of the fourteen matches. The unprecedented feat made us take notice. He octopie’d our thoughts from there”. The attempted joke fell on death ears. The media asked more questions about the Octopus.
When questioned about Paul’s ability to deal with a foreign sport, McLachlan was quick to answer. “Paul oversees the process; however, we have many AFL experts assisting in the free agency compensation. We’re not stupid.”
Paul the Octopus declined to comment when contacted.