Fremantle’s Lachie Weller today requested a trade to the Gold Coast Suns, leaving fans dumbfounded.

Weller, who is initially from Tasmania, wishes to be closer to his family. Weller’s family moved from Tasmania to the Gold Coast when older brother, Maverick, was a foundation player at the Suns. Weller’s camp informer the Fremantle Football Club of his intentions today.

The news has left Suns’ fans in shock, as the thought of a player requesting a trade to the Suns seems far removed. We contacted Gold Coast ‘SUNSCREAMER’, Sam Ritchie, who still hadn’t properly comprehended the news. “Fuck, man, I’m not sure how to feel. Lachie Weller is a gun, and I am lost for words. A player wants to come here? Better yet, a good player? And he is homesick for the Gold Coast. This is all too much”. Ritchie continued, stating that “this is what it must feel like to be from Melbourne. I better dress without colour and drink a latte just to get the full experience”.


Gold Coast chairman, Tony Cochrane, spoke to media concerning the club’s chase for the exciting, young Docker. “It is a great sign for the club. We are turning a corner, and it is great that players around the league see it”. When asked about the intended process the club sees in taking to secure Weller, Cochrane did not give much away. “That is an excellent question. I’m not sure. We haven’t had to deal with this before. I guess we call them now? I am used to getting the phone calls”.