Today the A-League announced another themed round in a bold initiative to get young fans through the turnstiles.


The announcement came with expectedly minimal fanfare as Football Australia chief, David Gallop, introduced the media to the league’s latest themed round.


“Bitcoin and Fidget Spinner round is an exciting opportunity for the league,” Gallop said. “It is no secret that the crowds around the league have been disappointing. “Another themed round at millennials and teens should spike interest in groups we want to target”.

The crowd numbers in the A-League are currently at their lowest since the league’s debut season, with just over 11,000 people attending matches on average. “Young people are not attending the matches,” Gallop told media. “If we want to attract the younger, long-term audience, we need to meet them half-way. “I have read up on BuzzFeed, the interweb, and other things that young people do. From my findings, I have decided that Bitcoin and Fidget Spinners will bring people through the doors”.

Bitcoins and Fidget Spinners is not the first foray into themed rounds, with the league recently celebrating Star Wars Round, to promote the newest shit-show of a film in the long-running franchise. “Star Wars Round was a perfect partnership with the A-League,” Gallop said. “I would like the current season as ‘The Last Jedi’ of A-League seasons. “Now we need to consolidate it with Fidget Spinners and Bitcoins”.


“Sure, we could look into the real reason that the crowds are struggling. “But why would I point the blame back to us if we can introduce a themed round to distract people from the fact we are ruining the league?”